So, last headspace someone was talking about the ‘Love Dare’; essentially a book containing 40 days worth of ‘dares’. The idea is that, based on Biblical principles, you do one dare a day, ranging from the relatively straightforward ‘do one kind thing for your partner’ to the almost impossible ‘try not to say anything negative all day’.
This book has been a New York Times Bestseller and seems to be making it’s way across the pond. Reviews on Amazon claim that it can be fairly revoluntionary for one’s marriage but then again I don’t always believe everything I read. I am also slightly concerned about a cheesiness factor which so often follows these sorts of things. However I do believe in the principle that loving someone is a decision and often if you start to act in a particular fashion, the feelings will follow.
Don’t get me wrong, I love my husband deeply, but often the busyness of life, the demands of the children and just getting through the day seem to interfere with the feelings that I think I should be experiencing. All too often I find myself resentful, or viewing our relationship as a ‘contract’ rather than a ‘covenant’ (more on that later) which can be a distinct passion killer.
So often I’m so much more preoccupied on what I am getting from the relationship than what I am giving to it, and him.
Perhaps it’s time for the Love Dare…………….!
So I’m going to start on Feb 14th. An apt day don’t you think. Anyone want to join me? Let’s do it in secret. Share your experiences with me on this site
We can do no better for our children than strengthen our marriages.
Our last meeting was all about gratefulness, what we are grateful for, what we should be grateful for and why we don’t always feel grateful. We watched a YouTube video about a woman who used to take the bus to school with her daughter every day and find it a real chore. One day her daughter looked out of the bus window and exclaimed “Mum, I just saw a dog!” and the woman thought, “this is it, this is her childhood.” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8jgVKw9rXRg That really struck home with me. All the bike rides and buggy rides to and from school and nursery with the kids are it, their childhood. My daughters love riding on my bike with me, my son loves riding his bike with us, all in all it’s a precious and fun time for them, and by being grateful for that time with them I can appreciate them and how fleeting their childhood will be.
We also read from “The Happiness Preoject”, a site that looks at ways to be positive and find fulfillment in every moment. http://happiness-project.com/ and discussed how sometimes you have to actively treasure the moments you’re having in order to enjoy them. We then heard about a woman who knew she was going to die very shortly, she gave her husband a list of all the things she wanted her sons to know or do. Some things included, never go to bed angry and plant a sunflower seed at least once, we then had to think of what we’d want to pass on to our own children if we knew we were soon going to die. It may sound a bit morbid but it was a really good way of focussing on lessons learnt that have been genuinely important to us.
Later on we watched a clip from Pollyanna talking about the Glad game,. Although a bit cheesy it does actually express a fantastic life ethic of always looking for something to be glad about, even when there seems to be nothing at first. www.youtube.com/watch?v=7bhyKS_SWPM
Often being grateful is a state of mind or a decision. Not always a natural decision, but definitely a healthy one.